Irony Quiz

"Whenever someone's in trouble, Captain Adventure comes on the double!" Shouted Captain Adventure from the rooftop, right before he dropped onto the purse-snatcher. The old woman recovered her purse and said appreciatively, "Thank you, Captain Adventure! You saved the day." Captain Adventure posed and offered to carry the woman's groceries upstairs. She politely accepted, and Captain Adventure handcuffed the purse-snatcher to a lamppost. Then he followed the old woman upstairs. As he put the grocery bags onto her counter, Captain Adventure saw something that made him jump onto the kitchen table. He started squealing in a high-pitched voice, "EWWWWW! Icky! Icky! A big bug." As he did this, he was pointing at an average sized ladybug that was on the floor about ten or fifteen feet from him. Seeing his terrified reaction to this small bug, the old lady scooped the insect onto her finger and guided it out the window. Captain Adventure was immediately relieved and said with genuine appreciation, "Thank you. I guess we're even now."

"Jones, they've got other offers on the table, bigger offers. We've got to move on this thing now while we've got our foot in the door." Pat Meier was working him over. Mr. Jones wasn't sure about buying the house, but he trusted Pat and he wanted to do right by him, so he agreed. Later that night, as he talked it over with his wife, Mr. Jones grew less and less certain. The phone rang. Mr. Jones politely answered it, "Hello. Jones' residence and with whom am I speaking?" At first there was no reply, and Mr. Jones heard someone laughing at a distance, "Ha-ha... The place has got mold in the attic and the basement!" Mr. Jones recognized the voice as belonging to Pat Meier. He continued listening, "The walls are an inch thin. Trains pass by every fifteen! You wouldn't believe this garbage dump, Bernie." Mr. Jones figured that Pat must have called him from his pocket on accident. Just as he was about to hang up, Mr. Jones remembered that Pat was trying to get him to buy a place right next to a train station. "I only let him look at the place for ten minutes at a time. I'm telling you, Bernie, this Jones idiot is going to pay twice what that dump is worth." Mr. Jones had heard enough. He ended the call. The next day Pat waited eagerly a long time for Mr. Jones to show up to the closing.

Bram hated his roommate Keith's dog. Bram resented how Keith didn't even ask him before he got the dog. Keith just came home one night with a dog. Now Bram shared his living space with a furry, poorly trained pest. The dog was not potty trained. It barked hours on end for no reason. It bothered Bram's guests by jumping and slobbering on them. Bram tolerated all this because he was a good roommate and Keith was his friend. Then Bram came home from work one day and found that Keith's dogs had chewed up Bram's limited edition shoes. Bram snapped. "Keith, do you know what your really awesome dog did? He tore up my favorite shoes. Thank you so much. I didn't want those anyway." Keith came from his room looking confused and upset. Bram continued, "Oh, I never said 'thank you,' by the way, for surprising me with this really well-behaved dog. I am so pleased to share my home with him!" Bram was shouting now. Keith grabbed his dog by the color and slowly backed him into his bedroom.

Moving to a new school had been tough for Janie, but things were finally turning around. She was making friends and she even received an invitation to Angie's pool party. There was one problem: Janie didn't know how to swim. Janie felt like admitting this might risk her new friendships. So she decided to go to the party and pretend like she knew how to swim. The first hour of the party went by swimmingly. Janie floated on a large raft and gossiped with the other girls. Then the girls started doing cannonballs and dives. Bridget did a jackknife. Angie did a can-opener. Now all eyes were on Janie. Bridget started teasing her, "Let's see what you can do, Brainy Janie!" Janie didn't know how to respond. Then Angie egged her on, "Come on, Janie. Do a flip!" Janie felt this tremendous pressure building, so she paddled to the edge of the pool and climbed out. How hard could it be? Janie thought. Angie and the other girls couldn't wait to see what kind of wild jump Janie would attempt. Little did they know how wild things were going to get.

Brandon was an adult when he found out that he had been adopted. It came as quite a shock. He spent his whole life thinking that the world was one way when in fact it there was another layer to it. As much as he loved and cherished his adoptive parents, he wanted to find his biological mother. So he contacted the adoption agency, but her information wasn't listed. He had a few clues and he followed them up, but they led to one dead-end after another. Brandon became obsessed. Sparing no expense, he employed a world-class detective. After many months of searching, the renowned detective came up empty-handed. Brandon never quit though. He spent years and piles of money scouring the world for clues to his birth-mother's identity. Finally his efforts paid a return. He discovered that she was living right down the street from his house, just around the corner.