Question 1

What change should be made in sentence 19?

Accepted Answer

Change our to your

Answer

Change controllers to guys

Answer

Change orderly to good

Answer

Change ready to prepared

Question 2

Justin wants to improve his introduction. How can he rewrite sentence 6 to provide more detail and imagery?

Accepted Answer

Without fields to roam, horses to ride, and streams to fish, what could the city possibly have to offer?

Answer

The traffic, the busyness, and the noises of the city would be nothing compared with the beautiful, amazing, lovely countryside.

Answer

The city wasn’t going to be the great place to live that the country had always been.

Answer

I told my parents in every way I could think of that the city simply wasn’t the place for me.

Question 3

What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 13?

Accepted Answer

I can walk to the bike store to get a tire fixed and then follow a bike path that takes me straight to the park.

Answer

I can walk to the bike store to get a tire fixed, and then a bike path that takes me straight to the park is there.

Answer

I can walk to the bike store to get a tire fixed and straight to the park from a bike path.

Answer

I can walk to the bike store to get a tire fixed, I can then follow a bike path that takes me straight to the park.

Question 4

Justin can improve the clarity of sentence 22 by changing it to —

Accepted Answer

my world

Answer

my house

Answer

the food

Answer

the yard

Question 5

Justin has used a poor choice of words in sentence 24. He should change stuff to —

Accepted Answer

opportunities

Answer

rituals

Answer

places

Answer

items

Question 6

Miles did not choose the most effective words in sentence 24. What is the BEST change for him to make in this sentence?

Accepted Answer

Change crumble to decompose

Answer

Change Items to Things

Answer

Change usually to often

Answer

Change end up to wind up

Question 7

What is the most effective transition word or phrase to add to the beginning of sentence 8?

Accepted Answer

In fact

Answer

After that

Answer

However

Answer

Additionally

Question 8

Sierra would like to add the following detail to the third paragraph (sentences 10–14). Where is the BEST place to insert this sentence?

Accepted Answer

After sentence 13

Answer

After sentence 12

Answer

After sentence 11

Answer

After sentence 14

Question 9

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 17?

Accepted Answer

Searching the Internet, she found Dudley listed for sale.

Answer

No revision is needed in sentence 17.

Answer

She searched the Internet, she found Dudley listed for sale.

Answer

Searching the Internet was where she found Dudley listed for sale.

Question 10

What is the most effective way to revise sentence 25?

Accepted Answer

With regular exercise and a strict diet, Dudley grew trim and sleek; he was able to make the first cut.

Answer

The regular exercise and strict diet that caused Dudley to grow trim and sleek was able to make the first cut.

Answer

With regular exercise the diet was strict, so Dudley grew trim and sleek; he was able to make the first cut.

Answer

The exercise was regular and the diet was strict, Dudley grew trim and sleek, and he was able to make the first cut.

Question 11

In sentence 27, Sierra does not think that sane is the best word to use. Which of the following would be a more effective word to use in this sentence?

Accepted Answer

calm

Answer

reasonable

Answer

open

Answer

friendly

Question 12

Sierra would like to add a sentence to bring her story to a more effective close. Which sentence could she add after sentence 42 to help achieve this goal?

Accepted Answer

The plain little colt had finally become the horse he had been bred to be.

Answer

He was ready to move back to the McGee ranch and be with his family again.

Answer

Dudley would never be the horse that people had hoped for, but he was still special.

Answer

As the son of Zeus and Diamond, Dudley was proud of his heritage.

Question 13

Sentence 25 lacks clarity. What is the most effective change to make to improve the clarity of this sentence?

Accepted Answer

Change him to a German spy

Answer

Change the German language to it

Answer

Change the man’s to his

Answer

Change recognize to know

Question 14

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 26 and 27?

Accepted Answer

A flex period would allow these students to get some homework done in school, which would relieve some of the pressure they feel in the after-school hours.

Answer

A flex period would allow these students to get some homework done in school or would relieve some of the pressure and feel of the after-school hours.

Answer

A flex period would allow these students to get some homework done in school, this would relieve some of the pressure they feel in the after-school hours.

Answer

A flex period would allow these students who get some homework done in school to relieve some of the pressure when they would feel it in the after-school hours.

Question 15

The meaning of sentence 29 is unclear. What is the BEST change to make in this sentence to improve its clarity?

Accepted Answer

Change They to Some teachers

Answer

Change the current middle school schedule to it

Answer

Change expressed to shared

Answer

Change concern to worry

Question 16

What is the most effective way to revise sentence 32?

Accepted Answer

Mrs. Holister tries to help me, but once the rest of the class understands, she has to move on with the lesson.

Answer

Mrs. Holister tries to help the rest of the class, who understands, then she has to move on with the lesson.

Answer

Mrs. Holister tries to help me and move on with the lesson for the rest of the class who understand.

Answer

Mrs. Holister tries to help me, once the rest of the class understands, she has to move on with the lesson.

Question 17

Joe did not maintain a consistent point of view in the first paragraph of this paper. What revision should he make in sentence 5 to correct this problem?

Accepted Answer

Change you to humans

Answer

Change she arrived to the dog arrived

Answer

Change she would become to it would become

Answer

Change no one to they

Question 18

Sentence 6 is unclear because Kayla has chosen an inappropriate word. What change should Kayla make to improve this sentence?

Accepted Answer

Change profits to benefits

Answer

Change most to many

Answer

Change agree to think

Answer

Change Certainly to Surely

Question 19

What transition can BEST be added to the beginning of sentence 9?

Accepted Answer

For example

Answer

In the end

Answer

Obviously

Answer

However

Question 20

Kayla needs to clarify the meaning of sentence 24. What is the most effective way to do this?

Accepted Answer

Change it to the constant interruption of a phone or a computer

Answer

Change that you to that those you truly care about

Answer

Change it to all that stuff

Answer

Change that you to that people

Question 21

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 26?

Accepted Answer

I believe that a day without technology will help make you a healthier person and a better friend.

Answer

I believe that a day without technology is a day that will be helping make you a healthier and better person and friend.

Answer

I believe that a day without technology, it will help make you a healthier person, and it will help make you a better friend.

Answer

I believe that a day without technology is good, it will help make you a healthier person, who will be a better friend.

Question 22

One of the words Grace used in sentence 4 is inappropriate. What is the BEST change for her to make in this sentence?

Accepted Answer

Change usually to commonly

Answer

Change expert to authority

Answer

Change known to thought of

Answer

Change legendary to famous

Question 23

Grace would like to add a transition word or phrase to help readers move from sentence 15 to sentence 16. Which of these is the most effective transition to add to the beginning of sentence 16?

Accepted Answer

Today

Answer

As a result

Answer

For example

Answer

Evidently

Question 24

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 3?

Accepted Answer

When Maggie missed him, she would sit by the shore and listen to the sound of the waves.

Answer

Maggie would sit and listen to the sound of the waves when she missed him by the shore.

Answer

When Maggie missed him, she would sit by the shore she would listen to the sound of the waves.

Answer

Maggie would sit, and she would listen to the sound of the waves by the shore when she missed him.

Question 25

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 6 and 7?

Accepted Answer

Maggie loved to visit with Captain Frank, a grizzled old sailor whose creaking joints had forced him to retire from a life at sea.

Answer

Maggie loved to visit with Captain Frank while he was a grizzled old sailor whose creaking joints had forced him to retire from a life at sea.

Answer

Maggie loved to visit with Captain Frank and a grizzled old sailor whose creaking joints had forced him to retire from a life at sea.

Answer

Maggie loved to visit with Captain Frank, he was a grizzled old sailor whose creaking joints had forced him to retire from a life at sea.

Question 26

Deena would like to add some details to strengthen her third paragraph (sentences 9–10). Which of the following can BEST be added after sentence 10 to accomplish this goal?

Accepted Answer

Maggie learned how to light the lamp, trim the wick, and fetch the oil needed in order to keep the light burning all night long.

Answer

Being a lighthouse keeper was hard work, and although Maggie wasn’t all that interested, she listened anyway.

Answer

His job was exciting and adventurous, and there were many interesting things for Maggie to learn while she was there.

Answer

In that day and age, there was no one else to assist Captain Frank with the job that he had loved so much for so long.

Question 27

Deena has included an extraneous sentence in the fourth paragraph (sentences 11–18). Which sentence should Deena delete from this paragraph?

Accepted Answer

Sentence 13

Answer

Sentence 12

Answer

Sentence 15

Answer

Sentence 16

Question 28

In sentence 20, Deena did not use the most appropriate word to describe Maggie’s knocks. Which of the following is the best replacement for the word crazy?

Accepted Answer

frantic

Answer

foolish

Answer

haphazard

Answer

outrageous

Question 29

Deena wants to improve the transition between the fifth paragraph (sentences 19–24) and the sixth paragraph (sentences 25–28). Which of the following could BEST replace sentence 25 and help accomplish this goal?

Accepted Answer

Maggie knew exactly what to do because she had been watching and listening to Captain Frank for years.

Answer

After years of watching Captain Frank, Maggie knew that he would want her to wait for instructions.

Answer

To start with, Maggie was frightened and wasn’t quite sure what would be expected of her.

Answer

Maggie wanted to take the lead in this situation, so she did it without questioning the weather.

Question 30

Deena wants to use a more effective and descriptive sentence to close the sixth paragraph (sentences 25–28). Which of the following could BEST replace sentence 28 and help accomplish this goal?

Accepted Answer

In seconds, a warm glow filled the lighthouse and beamed out its many windows.

Answer

In seconds, the lighthouse and its occupants were all in a much better position.

Answer

In seconds, she would ask Captain Frank for help with what she needed to do.

Answer

In seconds, the light was on, and everything was fine in their part of the world.

Question 31

The meaning of sentence 13 is unclear. What change should Derek make to improve the clarity of this sentence?

Accepted Answer

Change it to the long trip

Answer

Change migrate to journey

Answer

Change every year to annually

Answer

Change sleep to sleeping

Question 32

Derek has not used the most effective transition in sentence 25. Which of the following could replace However in this sentence?

Accepted Answer

As a matter of fact

Answer

For example

Answer

In contrast

Answer

To conclude

Question 33

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 4?

Accepted Answer

No revision is needed in this sentence.

Answer

Unfortunately, my hands aren’t interested in what my brain is telling my hands to do.

Answer

Unfortunately, my hands aren’t interested, they don’t care what my brain is telling them to do.

Answer

Unfortunately, my hands and my brain aren’t interested in what it is telling them to do.

Question 34

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 8?

Accepted Answer

A shrill scream from the car behind me snaps me out of my daydream and returns my focus to the world around me.

Answer

A shrill scream snaps me out of my daydream from the car behind me, returning my focus to the world around me.

Answer

A shrill scream snaps me out of my daydream and returns my focus to the world around me, it came from the car behind me.

Answer

A shrill scream snaps me out of my daydream, and from the car behind me, it returns my focus to the world around me.

Question 35

What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 9?

Accepted Answer

All I can hear is the whoosh of the wind, the thunder of the car’s metallic wheels, and the piercing shrieks of my fellow passengers.

Answer

All I can hear is the whoosh of the wind and the thunder of the car’s metallic wheels and my fellow passengers and their piercing shrieks.

Answer

All I can hear is the whoosh of the wind and the thunder of the car’s metallic wheels, I can also hear my fellow passengers who have piercing shrieks.

Answer

All I can hear is the whoosh of the wind next to the thunder of the car’s metallic wheels beside my fellow passengers who have piercing shrieks.

Question 36

Isaiah would like to add some detail to support the idea he has presented in sentence 14. Which sentence could BEST follow and provide support for sentence 14?

Accepted Answer

The light of a beautiful day is welcome but nearly blinding after the darkness of the tunnel.

Answer

While I find adventure movies intriguing, this doesn’t feel intriguing at all.

Answer

I’m thinking that the ride will be over soon.

Answer

It comes out of the tunnel really fast and heads straight up into the air.

Question 37

What is the most effective transition to add to the beginning of sentence 19?

Accepted Answer

In fact

Answer

For example

Answer

On the other hand

Answer

To repeat

Question 38

Isaiah’s closing sentence is weak. Which of these sentences could replace sentence 20 and provide a more effective closing for this paper?

Accepted Answer

I’m going to get right back in line and ride the Viper again!

Answer

In closing, riding the Viper was an amazing experience.

Answer

There’s no doubt in my mind as to what I will do now!

Answer

Finally, I’m going to do it again.

Question 39

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 3?

Accepted Answer

They write essays, take tests, do homework, and attend sports practices.

Answer

Sentence 3 is written correctly in the paper.

Answer

They write essays, take tests, and do homework while there are sports practices.

Answer

They write essays, take tests, and do homework, they also go to sports practices.

Question 40

The meaning of sentence 20 can be clarified by changing them to —

Accepted Answer

students

Answer

school

Answer

programs

Answer

businesses

Question 41

Ari wants to close his paper with a call to action. Which of these sentences could be added after sentence 21 to accomplish this goal?

Accepted Answer

Let’s give students at our school an opportunity to experience that pride by beginning a citizenship program here.

Answer

In closing, students will be proud of what they’ve done to improve their school and community.

Answer

Clearly, the extra work is worth the effort for everyone who is involved in creating a citizenship program today.

Answer

A citizenship program is a valuable idea for helping people get things done that might not otherwise be done.

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